Housemate Horror Stories: The University Edition

by - Sunday, September 18, 2016

Hello Friends!

It's that time of the year again. The beginning of September marks the end of summer and the start of school. I'll be starting my 3rd year of university on the 26th of September and I still haven't completely come to terms with yet. It honestly feels as if these last 2 years have just flown by! I remember this time in 2014 I was just about to move into my on-campus student accommodation.

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Over these past 2 years, I've had some amazing experiences and made some lifelong friends. However, it definitely hasn't always been plain sailing. Not even in terms of lectures, coursework or exams; living with people you've never met before is risky and doesn't always go to plan. I feel as if I've been *fairly* lucky, but for your entertainment, I'm going to share with you 5 of my most shocking (and pretty humorous) university horror stories - in particular, ones about housemates. Just so that no one I know gets insulted, I will keeping everyone I mention anonymous...

1) My Battle With The Russians

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm an extremely outspoken person. It's not advisable to get on the wrong side of me. But clearly, the Gods were testing in my 1st few weeks of 1st year. One of my flatmates (who is Russian, as evident in the title) decided to invite over some fellow Russians to the flat for drinks which - at first - we all had no problem with. However when they actually arrived, that quickly changed. They were extremely loud and obnoxious (and fyi I'm not suggesting that their nationality has anything to do with their disposition, they were just dicks). After being told to "shut the f*ck up" because I was talking while one of them was on the phone and having them basically trash our kitchen, we told them to get out. However before they left, my flatmate (let's call him... Mike) decides it'll be a good idea to steal my newly bought bottle of rum, stating that he "needed" it. You can imagine my reaction when I was told this by my other flatmates. Eventually I calmed down and decided to enjoy the rest of the night, resigning myself to the fact that I would have to deal with it in the morning. Lo and behold, on our way to the Student Union who do we happen to come across? Only Mike and his cohort. The fire instantly reignited inside me and in my drunken state I unleashed the fury. I don't even remember what exactly I'd said but apparently I made a huge scene in the middle of campus. Over a bloody bottle of rum. Funny thing is, one of Mike's friends is actually on my course and in the time since, we've become good friends. She of course remembers my absolute bitch fit that night. It goes without saying that my relationship with Mike was frosty for the next few weeks... What can I say? Don't come in between me and my food/alcohol. Especially when I'm drunk.

2) Sleepover From Hell 

Technically I wasn't actually directly involved in this, but this is a story I just had to include. In the first weeks/months of university, everyone is still trying to get to know each other. Sleepovers/movie nights became the way (in my block of apartments anyway) of doing so. I probably seemed like the wet blanket but after these movie nights, I would prefer to sleep in my own bed, whereas others enjoyed cramming into a double bed. On this particular night, I was so glad that I had! I awoke to the gossip that a pair of lusty lovers couldn't contain themselves and decided to have sex. In someone else's bed. While she was asleep in the bed next to them. It sounds like a cringey Never-Have-I-Ever confession. To make matters worse, the person who was innocently sleeping next to them woke up right in the middle of it! After trying to ignore it for a while (she has more patience that I do!), she ordered them to take their business elsewhere. Literally, uni has ruined any innocence/faith in humanity I'd ever had.

3) Boys (not) Allowed

Living with other people can be stressful. Factor in a few boyfriends and that can definitely kick things up a notch. I can safely say that I never expected things to kick off this badly. To give a bit of back story, things had been pretty tense in the house. There had been several arguments, mainly revolving around the boyfriend of one of my housemates. In all honesty, the fights were completely avoidable. But as we all know, people's emotions get the better of them, thus leading to fights. In the aftermath of one of these arguments, my housemate's boyfriend was ranting about the unfairness of the situation. During his rant, he - in the heat of the moment - said some unkind words about one of the girls he'd been arguing with, who wasn't in the house at that time. His rant was audible enough for the other housemates to hear, and they weren't too pleased that their housemate was being spoken about in this way *commence more yelling and arguing*. In an attempt to diffuse the situation, I tried to calm down my other housemates. It clearly didn't work, as girlfriend-housemate heard what they were saying about her man and came to his defence *cue more screaming and arguing*. Boyfriend - who was sitting upstairs listening to everything - had had enough too, and also came down to join the fight. At this point, I was fed up of the whole ordeal and gave up trying to help.  The argument ended with the other housemates saying that if boyfriend did not leave the house immediately, they'd call the police. Oh, happy days.

4) The Ghost With An Appetite (And A Penchant For Underwear)

At some point during your time at university, someone will steal your food. It's inevitable, so be prepared. In my 2nd year house, food was going missing on almost a daily basis. The most aggravating thing? No one would own up to it. Cereal, smoked salmon, pizza; nothing was safe from the food ghost. At one point, it had all gotten too much for one of my housemates who'd had something stolen from her freezer draw; something she'd planned to have for dinner that evening. She knew for sure that she hadn't eaten it. To prove that she wasn't going crazy, she went as far as going through the bin to find the empty packet and of course, there it was! An intervention was needed, so all the housemates were called to the living room for a meeting. Of course, no one came clean clean but we had an idea of who it was, since most people hadn't even been in the house that week except that one person. After the meeting, food stopped going missing so clearly the ghost had gotten the message. A few weeks later, I was awoken in the middle of the night by very loud yelling. Two of my housemates were screaming at one of my other housemates. It had become clear that it was her who had been stealing the food in the first place, and had now started stealing clothes and even underwear!

5) Front Door Fail

The front door of my 2nd year house was a bit annoying. It was fiddly and you basically had to slam it to get it to close properly. On several occasions, the door had been left ajar due to someone being negligent... One night, most of my housemates had gone to the SU, leaving only 2 of us in the house. Just as I was about to get into bed at around midnight, I heard a strange alarm coming from what sounded like the corridor. I got up to ask my other housemate what she thought the noise was but she hadn't paid much attention to it since she thought it was coming from outside. As I was standing in the corridor, I could hear the noise more clearly and it definitely sounded like it was coming from inside the house. Upon going downstairs, we were able to confirm that the noise was actually coming from outside because the front door was wide open. Naturally, we were freaked out. What if someone had broken into the house? What if they were still in the house? After searching all of the rooms, we were sure that no one had broken in, our housemates had just not closed the door properly before going out. Obviously I sent a message to my other housemates telling them of their mistake but as time passed, I got more and more angry. What if we hadn't realised and unknowingly went to bed with our front door wide open? Anything could have happened. To make matters worse, we didn't even get an apology. Moral of the story: don't live with stupid people.

I hope you enjoyed those little tales! I'm so glad that I can laugh at them all now. It's inevitable that you're going to come across some people you don't particularly get along with during your time at uni. My advice is to try and be civil, it'll make your university experience soooo much better. Also, try not to take any bad situations you're in too seriously. They'll make for a funny story... someday (probably)

Natalie x

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